So you know there is a lot to learn, and you’ve consulted Google a LOT more than usual, because this is really really important and you’ve got only a certain amount of time, but it’s ok because if you just take one step at a time, and that is the only way anyone ever got anywhere, you’ll be right, but then you start getting the info in and it’s making sense, and yes, you can see how this and that will apply to you, and then you find this and you get that too and see how it could apply, and then, and then, and then, and then suddenly… you’re exhausted, or overwhelmed, or remembering all the other things you’ve got to do before X happens, and all of sudden you’re almost wondering why you bothered spending any time at all because you feel like you’ve not only not gone forwards, but possibly gone backwards.
First of all, congratulations… for not burying your head in the sand and being oblivious to the facts that there is a lot of helpful people and a lot of helpful information out there which could be great. And don’t be demoralised. You were probably researching something very important to you, close to your heart – be it your baby or your business or your health (or go forbid your particularly fortuitous and it was about looking after yourself!), or something else you’d chosen to spend your time on, so it natural to hit the heart strings or the frustration button when information or decision overload kicks in.
And yes, the answer is that you probably do need to keep it simple, or you need to relax a little, or things will work themselves out, but that probably doesn’t help you right now.
And this is where the real answer comes in, and it’s two fold.
1. You are not an expert in everything – and if you are, processing it in relation to yourself is another matter.
2. You have self defeating, protective, tendencies programmed into you.
So, what you need to the right partner in crime. You might have lots of them, but you’ll probably have a few key ones.
For me my most recent experience was with my head coach. I don’t get to see her very often, because she’s very busy, but when I saw her my overwhelming feeling was ‘I should have started with her’. It certainly would have made my path easily, but given I believe ‘I’m exactly where I need to be’, obviously I was supposed to learn something about myself before I got to her (and boy had I, so I guess my belief proves itself again!).
She gave me a number of things when I saw her. First of all she listened. Then she gave me a swift kick reality check so we could get me outside of my terror and irrational overwhelming things, and onto my options as to how I could proceed.
I also got a swift kick from my best friend. She reminded me I needed to get to the bottom of things, I needed to ask for help and not dismiss people’s offers of help because they’re busy, and I needed to buy time. She reminded me I couldn’t unload everything one person just because they’re fabulous at helping me (in my case, hubby), but that I needed to buy time, and that given I’d do it for anyone else at a heartbeat, it shouldn’t be a stretch at all, and that people would probably even like to help.
So, I needed a great a facilitator to help me effectively navigate the path.
I needed to screw my head back on straight, and start off step by step again.
For me this started with the first thing, venting.
Next I needed to get all the circling thoughts onto paper, giving me relief, and a place to go to when I did have two seconds to work on a task.
Next I need to help my body get the crap out of me. For me the first step of this is lots of water and herbal-style teas.
Spend one hour outside in the sun/sky every day.
Next was sleep. Many would put this at the top of the list, and I do think it’s important, its just the three things above contribute significantly to my sleep. And as a part of this, I also needed to take a few other action steps to get some decent sleep (a 5-6 hour block is my current definition of decent sleep!). The outdoor time made a lot of difference, but I also needed some exercise happening (and this is how I started implementing my four minute workout sessions), I needing to make time to express some breast milk to insert a dream feed, and I needing to remember my wind down techniques.
From here, I made sure I had a good morning session. For me this starts with waking before I am ‘called’ into action by one of my babes, starts with a hot drink (tea or lemon water), and includes some form of breakfast for me. The best mornings are when I get a four minute workout in, plus a one minute yoga move, and a four minute mindfulness sit. If I get really lucky, I get a ‘clean’ shower and a body boost, then breakfast with the kiddies. A real treat is a longer session of my fav yoga (which is Japanese therapy yoga), and I try to include my ten goal method. It’s all about rhythm here for me, and being happy with the bits I get to do. The evening before also makes a big difference to how my day works, as does my meal planning (or my meal planning in reverse if that’s where I’m at!).
And the key… don’t get distracted. This doesn’t mean don’t be flexible, it means don’t get distracted, particularly if you’re not on your game. Sure, Facebook is fabulous, but it’s best when you’re on your game and you only have a couple of minutes, otherwise it can feel like it’s a connecting mission to stay connected, but actually it becomes a time zapping vortex VERY quickly that gives you more things to do, read, comment on, read later, respond to, think about, add to the list, etcetera, and I hope you can see my point that whilst enjoyable and that it has it’s place, it can be a MAJOR distraction you could do without being sucked into.
Anyway, blogging for me also gets distracted, so I best say ciao, and get back to the next thing on my list. And if I think of something awesome I don’t want to forget along the way, I’ll pop it in a non distracting vortex location like a good old paper diary.
Rx
