I love it when I’m doing something and I get an ah-ha moment! I feel like I’ve had a surge of energy flow through my brains, and while I’d love to call a friend and share the enlightenment, I have been having a lot of them lately, and I figure it’s better to share widely, so these days I love to write them down!!
You see I’ve been enjoying House Husbands, which is only a show I’ve recently cottoned onto, and the only show on TV I record the series of and I’m keen to sit down, have a silly giggle, laugh at the characters and the way I do things like a bit of each of them and work out who I’m most like! Anyway… I digress.
So I was watching House Husbands tonight, and Lewis (played by Gary Sweet) verbalises his own ah-ha moment. You see he is very recently separated from his wife after getting into bed with his ex-wife and now he has bought a Harley Davidson motorbike as a distraction from everything that is going on.
And so here lies the ah-ha moment. Do we wish to spend money, eat out a lot, etc., because we enjoy it, or because it’s a distraction?
This kind of comes off the back of thinking earlier today about cleaning. Why do we despise it so much? Why is it such a chore to tidy as we go, keep things clutter free and calm?
So I called in an expert, and she helped me understand a few things.
In your teens and twenties everything is about accumulation.
So, when your priorities a little pushed financially, perhaps a great opportunity to look at your priorities, and I mean really look at them. What is worth spending money on? What would you go without to make sure you’re getting something else? Are you spending or changing something for a distraction??
And then there was the second ah-ha moment – two in one episode!! Poor old Lewis is part of the school play with his daughter when he breaks into a dialogue saying ‘I’ve done very bad things… but they’re not my fault. Very very bad things… (dramatic pause!) Actually, that’s not true. It is my fault. All of it. I could say I was born that way, but that
d be a cop out. Sometimes I think as I get older I’ve learned absolutely nothing. I’ve hurt my family, my friends, I’ve accused them of things they haven’t done, and I’ve snapped at them when they were just trying to help me. If there was any justice in the world I’d be boiled in oil. And there would be a whole cue of people happy to throw me in. What can I say, I’m sorry.’ (and tears well in my eyes, and then onto my cheeks!)
But then his friend goes up to him and says, I don’t want to boil you in oil.
And that’s the thing isn’t it. When things suck, we feel like we can do no right, and the world would be better without us. We stop communicating. We stop doing stupid things. We go into the Mummy Cave and hide.
This is to give you permission to be kind to yourself.
Communicate as much as you possibly can, with real people, in person. And remember, you are the most amazing nurturing person in the world but you need to nurture yourself first before you can truely nurture anyone.
And then… House Husbands goes on to have one of the chicks going off to South America to discover if this is the life she wants. And that is so what it feels like after you’ve been in the cave for too long. You want to escape… by yourself. So if you feel like this, find some ways to help yourself. And please please please talk to someone. You don’t have to know what to say… you get your thoughts out of your spinning mind.
Rx
